Blog

Featured

Welcome…

It has been 80 weeks since I became a mum. 40 weeks in, 40 weeks out. For 80 weeks, I’ve googled enough about babies to basically consider myself a doctor (okay, that’s a lie) I’ve stalked enough ‘mummy blogs’ to basically be the perfect insta-mum (okay, that’s a lie too). I’ve been following, secretly idolising – plus legit laughing out loud at mummy bloggers, and all around awesome women such as Sophie Cachia (theyoungmummy), Mel Watts (modernmumma), Jess Bovey (newmumclub), Rebecca Keil (rockyandruby) and Julia Coffey (newmumstheword). They have pretty much kept me semi sane. After 40 weeks out, and months of umming and aaahing I thought, ‘screw it, maybe I can do that’… You know… Start a blog. I mean, my kids cute, my boyfriend is pretty cool. I can be sort of funny. Sometimes. So why not? Here it goes…

My name is Stacey Mullany, I am a 27-year-old first time mum to a beautiful tiny human. I am a trained Early Childhood Teacher but wannabe Sonographer/Blogger from New Zealand, living in Brisbane Australia. My super supportive, awesome, hands-on other half is Kim and together we made, potentially, the cutest child on the planet, or so we like to think. His name is Hudson.

I’ve made this blog in the hopes that it at least will help one other person, like so many blogs helped me, it is honest, it will probably have more grammar errors than I’d like to admit and maybe I’ll say the wrong thing from time to time. But that’s because it is completely me. Please remember we’re all different, we’re all human and we’re all beautiful. Welcome to Hudson and Her.

Thanks for reading ✌️ xx

IMG_0680

Advertisements

Anxiety is a bitch…


So I’ve always had mild anxiety. I was the kid who felt like I was just a little bit different than the other kids. I was the teenager who was terrified of putting myself in unknown social situations and I was the adult who over thought everything. Like, god forbid I do anything in life without a very thought out plan. Anyway, I accepted this was part of who I was. I was fine, I thought, I’m just shy… I like to be organized. Pfft.

For some reason, before I had Hudson it was like my anxiety was a lady of leisure, coming and going as she pleased. After having Hudson though, unfortunately, she was here to stay. Women are already more prone to anxiety, I actually read that one in three women experience anxiety in their life time (which is twice as much as men, just sayin’) and it’s all because of the hormonal changes that come with having a vagina. Seriously, it’s a thing. I researched it. 

So it makes sense why anxiety becomes worse post partum, our hormones are hay wire… But I’m almost 11 months post partum and I still don’t see it going away. I have days where I’m so stressed and anxious that I’m breaking out in rashes. I have major insomnia and sometimes I don’t even want to leave my house. Don’t get me wrong, I also have days when I’m absolutely fine. But the one thing my days have in common is, I. Over. Think. Everything. From whatever Hudson is doing that’s ‘different’ that day to why someone at work looked at me weird. 

To be honest I dont really have any coping mechanisms when the anxiety strikes, I usually just deal and push it aside until it goes away. Or try watch some trashy TV to take my mind off of it. Maybe I’ll eat some chocolate. Or if it’s really bad, I’ll go have a drink with my friends. 

I don’t even know why I’m writing this blog post to be honest, maybe it’s just to vent, maybe it’s to justify my emotions to myself, maybe it’s so other mummas don’t feel alone. I mean, our bodies did become a temporary housing unit for nine months and now we are solely responsible for keeping a tiny human alive (OK maybe not solely, but you get my drift) so maybe it’s just normal to feel anxious. 

Maybe it’s also in the hope that someone will read this and let me know how they deal with their anxiety… Do people have coping mechanisms? Or should I just up my wine intake? Hahaha, that was a joke (kind of, OK, maybe not). 

Anyway, anxiety is a bitch and I hope anyone reading this, who suffers from anxiety, knows they’re not alone. 

Thanks for reading ✌️ 

I went back to work, and leaving my child wasn’t the hardest part…


So bear with me, this blog post is a ramble of feelings and emotions. So if you’re looking for some sort of life changing advice or something like that, I’d give up now. If you’re willing to read an emotional, slightly over reactive post about a return to work then by all means, go ahead…

So, as some of you may know, last week I returned to work, after 11 months maternity leave. I was actually excited to go back, (please, don’t get me wrong, I love my son, and I was sad to leave him. I also cried the first time I left him at daycare, but stay at home mum life did not work for me). I needed some routine and normalcy in my life. Along with some adult interaction. I also work with a lot of close friends so I was excited to see them a bit more.

I wasn’t expecting for my first week to be so hard. Obviously, I was expecting for things to change. But I honestly felt like I was starting in a brand new job again. To be honest, maybe a brand new job would have been easier. The job itself isn’t too much different. It was more the dynamic of the work environment that I struggled with. 

Just to paint you a bit of a picture… Before I left, I was pretty good at my job. I had been there longer than most people and I worked with a lot of friends. Now, I basically know no-one there, and all of my close friends, even some of my best friends, have moved into management and leadership roles. Now I’m happy for them. I really am. But it’s hard not to think what would have happened if I stayed? What would have happened if I went back to work earlier or took hardly any time off? Obviously these thoughts are closely followed with utter guilt at thinking that at all . I wouldn’t change the time I spent with Hudson for the world, but it doesn’t make it any less hard. 

The changes at work made me sad and I also felt jealous of my friends. These are two less than desirable emotions that I really don’t want to have, especially over a job. I sat there on Thursday at my desk, feeling like I had no idea what I was doing, holding back tears, contemplating just going and finding another job (obviously an overreaction) and I felt sorry for myself for a full three days before I finally told myself to toughen up. 

So here I am, writing this, getting it off my chest (isn’t that what blogs are for?). I took 11 months off, things have changed, but I’m sure it’ll get better eventually. I need to tell myself that I did this for my family and work isn’t the most important thing. I had my sad moment. I’ve talked about it out loud (does writing a blog post even count as talking out loud?). Anyway, now it’s time to move on and get on with it. 

People reading this are probably like stop being  whiny and just do your job. And you’re probably right. I’ll also use the excuse that maybe I’m getting my period or maybe I’m having chocolate withdrawals and that’s why I’m a moody bitch. But either way, feelings are feelings. 

Maybe next week will be better. But for now, it’s time to focus on my child who is currently seeing how much fluff he can eat off of the floor. #Mumlife. 

Does anyone else have any similar stories? Let me know.

Thanks for reading ✌️

25 random facts about me…

So I thought I’d put together a few facts for everyone who doesn’t know me, to get to know me a bit more 💕

1) I was born in Hastings, New Zealand and grew up in Mount Maunganui. It’s honestly the most beautiful place, google it.

2) I made a random quick desicion to move to Australia because I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. Six days later I moved and I’ve now been in Brisbane for three years. 

3) I’ve lived in 28 houses. 21 in New Zealand and 7 in Australia. I actually hate moving so I don’t know how this is a thing haha. 

4) I would love to move back to New Zealand (preferably the south island for something a bit different) and study sonography. But we’ll see what happens 😉

5) My parents live in New Zealand and I have limited family here which often gets me a bit down. I miss my parents a lot. 

6) I have no close ‘mum friends’ in Australia 😩 which is one of the reasons I started a blog.

7) I rarely swear. Well, not the F word. Shit and bitch are acceptable 😂

8) I love makeup. If I was richer, I’m pretty sure that’s what I would spend all my money on. 

9) My favorite makeup ‘guru’ is shaaanxo and my favorite brands of makeup are Too Faced and Tarte.

10) I’m incredibly shy around new people and I often come across as ‘a bitch’ but I’m actually just quiet and once I’ve had one conversation with someone I’m fine.

11) I have anxiety and I usually know when it’s getting bad because I start breaking out in a rash which the doctors call my ‘stress rash’ 

12) I was a high school drop out but did really well in university. 

13) I studied Early Childhood Education teaching and always planned to go back to it until I had Hudson and decided looking after other people’s children was no longer for me haha. Looking after my own child is hard enough.

14) I’m shit scared of sharks. I will not go in the ocean past my knees. 

15) I love cats. Actually I love all animals but I’ve only ever had cats. My partner is allergic to them though 😭

16) I don’t know my real dad. He knows I exist and I’ve considered tracking him down a few times but only because I found out from a family member that he has children so I considered tracking him down to find out more about my siblings. 

17) My mum is the best. She raised me, mostly alone, for the first ten years of my life. She’s my inspiration in life.

18) I’m technically an only child. But I have an eighteen year old step sister who feels just like my real sister. 

19) When I was ten my mum and stepdad met. He is also the best. He’s a better dad to me than a lot of dad’s out there. One of Hudsons middle names is named after him and if I ever get married he’ll be the one to walk me down the aisle.

20) I have eleven best friends. Most of them are friends from high school. Four of them are guys.

21) I love reading, I’m one of those people who get angry at how shit the movies are compared to the books but I rarely have time to read now.

22) My favorite music is rock music. I have my favourite song by Chris Cornell and Slash tattoed on my arm.

23) I have five tattoos all up. They’re all small. I’ll probably continue to get more.

24) I’m also shit scared of flying. I cry when taking off. 

25) I dislike being called Stacey, it makes me feel like I’m in trouble by my mum. I prefer Stace. 

Hope this helped any newbies reading this, or people who don’t know me personally feel like they know me a bit better ☺️ 

Thanks for reading ✌️

Weight-loss journey: chapter 1

I’m overweight. There. I said it. It’s out there now. I know it, my family knows it, my friends know it, my partner knows it (not that he’d ever say anything, bless him). Heck the courier who delivers my way too many online parcels probs knows it. One person who does not know it, is my son. Well, not yet anyway… And I want to try and keep it that way.
I read some shit somewhere saying that the first 5 years of a baby’s life are the most important for setting up their healthy relationship with food and fitness. Probs from some inspirational Instagram quote though so don’t sue me if it’s wrong, I don’t really care if it’s wrong or not. I just want Hudson to be healthy from an early age. I don’t want him eating chocolate and other bad shit on the daily and I want to be able to run around after him at the park without people looking at me wanting to call an ambulance because I look like I’m about to have a heart attack.

The funny thing is, is that I hardly ever feed Hudsons little body shit food, he gets the odd treat on special occasions and that’s about it so why am I feeding my body shit. So I’ve decided to change it. For real. The pantry has been cleared out. A gym has been joined, I had my first PT session (definitely confirmed the whole unfit thing) and a plan is in place. And I guess by telling all of you reading this, I’m making myself accountable. I refuse to fail. I refuse to fail for my family, for my son and for myself.

(This is the way I let instagram/social media see me, basically, good angles, stupid poses, filters. Mainly pictures of my face cos I ain’t about to get my body out there)

(These are the unfiltered photos that I try to hide because I tell myself I look fat and no one can see them, I can try to argue to myself that they’re bad angles or I’d just had a baby but the important thing is that I don’t feel good about myself and I don’t feel healthy)

I have a lot of weight to lose and I’ll make my weight-loss journey a regular monthly update on on the blog and you can also follow me on Instagram @hudson_and_her to keep updated ☺️ Stay tuned for the next chapter.

Thanks for reading ✌️ xx

Instagram made me crazy…

I wish I could say this is a joke but it’s not. Instagram made me crazy. About a month ago I decided to take the plunge and start my blog about my parenting journey and some hopefully helpful tips for other mums that I had. But about a week ago, I became obsessed. Obsessed with how many views my blog had, obsessed with how many new followers I had on Instagram. Obsessed. 

I thought to myself, my blogs never going to get out there if I don’t have followers. So I asked around a bit and kept getting the same answer. Be authentic, know what your page is about and like comment, and interact with people in my ‘niche’ whatever the fuck niche means. Just kidding, I know. Had to Google it though. And of course, I needed to utilize the hashtags.

Next, I downloaded the app followers+ this was my biggest mistake and the start of crazy Stacey. I became obsessed with looking at who unfollowed me. During this week my instagram following doubled and one of my fav mum bloggers started following me. I was stoked. She’s from New Zealand and she’s hilarious. Anyway fast forward a few days after this obsession took hold of my life and said mum blogger unfollowed me. My heart literally sank, and I’m thinking what did I do? Why didn’t she like me. It was literally like I was in high school again feeling inadequate about who I was. And I didn’t like it. It was about 30 seconds later that I decided to delete the stupid app and write a quick post to get it all off my chest. 

The advice I got from the other bloggers was good, and I’ll take some of it on board but I guess if even one person reading this is just starting out blogging or starting themselves up on a social media channel I would say be authentic, be you and don’t do it for the followers because if you’re doing it for the followers you’re doing it for the wrong reasons. 

For a week I was so obsessed with instagram I couldn’t sleep. I was glued to my phone. My partner had to literally bribe me with a massage if I could go without my phone for one hour. And my poor son has definitely not been getting the attention he deserves. For a week, I forgot why I started this. It was to connect with other mums, it was maybe just have a bit of a LOL. It was to write. But it wasn’t for followers. 

I did not start this for followers, and I’m going to stop doing this for followers, I want the people that are following me to want to follow me. I’m going to start doing this for myself, and that one person it might help.

Thanks for reading ✌️ xx 

Fave Five ‘Mum Bloggers’

So, I love mum blogs… Obviously. That’s why I’ve started a blog myself. It’s therapeutic to write them and also to read them. There are literally hundreds of thousands out there. My Insta feed is more mum blogs than celebs at this stage but these are still my fave five ‘mummy bloggers’. I say ‘mummy bloggers’ in bunny ears (f*** is bunny ears even a thing, I was shit at English) because I’m unsure if I like the term, but we’ll save that for another day. All five of these kick-ass women are so different but each of them has a real, raw and honest take on motherhood. Plus, they’re all bloody hilarious and have a knack at making you feel like it’s OK not to be perfect… You know you’re following good people when you can 100% relate to them and feel like you’d be walking down the street and you’d feel so comfortable to approach them, you’d be all like “hey girlfriend, how’s the kids, how’s the hubby’ before remembering they have no idea who the F you are… anyway haha, if you’re in the search for a cool mum to follow and want to have a stalk I’ll list their social media below. Defs give them a follow, trust me, you won’t regret it.

Unknown

 

Sophie Cachia – The Young Mummy

Sophie is an Australian VIC blogger and is probably the most well-known blogger I’m writing about. She is wife to AFL player Jaryd Cachia and together they have two beautiful children, Bobby and Florence AKA Flossy. Sophie is seriously hilarious. Following Sophie pretty much started my love for all this. She’s was so honest about pregnancy and she’s so honest about parenthood that you can’t help but feel like you know her. The thing about Sophie is she will show the glitz and glam of her lifestyle, and all of the beautiful events she goes to but then the very next day she’ll show herself with no makeup on, hair in a classic mum bun with Bobby literally sitting on her lap while she’s taking a shit.  I LOVE HER!!! She always speaks up for what she believes in, recently speaking out against online Bullying (seriously, preach sister, nothing grinds my gears more than a keyboard warrior). You can tell she would do anything for the people she loves and you honestly can’t help but want to keep up with the Cachias. Give her a follow if you haven’t already, Sophie and the family also have epic dance battles, seriously, they have moves, what more could you want.

http://instagram.com/sophiecachia_

https://www.facebook.com/theyoungmummy/

Mel Watts – The Modern Mumma

Mel is an Australian NSW blogger that I came across soon after I started my ‘mummy blogger’ obsession. Coming from a blended family myself, Mel is Blended family goals. She had her first son before her marriage to husband Nolan and I love how open and honest she is about her sons relationship with both of his dads. I also have an amazing step-dad who treats me the exact same as he does his own daughter, and is my father in every sense of the word so seeing the Watts clan and their relationships gave me instant admiration for Mel and her family. Together Mel and Nolan have two daughters, Ivie and Indie plus they have a baby on the way, with Mel being due pretty soon. So excited!!! Mel is also bloody hilarious and keeps it real about the struggles of parenthood, relationships and her journey through anxiety. Also, the sass level of her two daughters is the cutest thing you’ll see all day.

http://instagram.com/themodernmumma

https://www.facebook.com/Themodernmumma/

Jules Coffey – newmumstheword 

Julia AKA Jules is an Australian NSW ‘Insta-mum’ her Instagram is just as good as a blog. I recently read an article that Jules wrote for House of White where she said she uses Instagram as a diary, which is true, her daily photos along with her story-like captions give us a detailed portrayal of her life as a mum. Jules is wife to husband Adam and together they have a super cute daughter Emmison and an adorable French bulldog named Willow, seriously, I want Hudson to have a little canine bestie after seeing Emmi and Willow together. Jules detailed instagram posts about motherhood honestly get me through my days. She keeps it real with the best and the worst moments of being a mum, she’ll show Emmi being the cutest thing ever, but she will also show the tantrums and the tears, which immediately makes her more relatable. She’s funny and she honestly seems like the loveliest person on the planet…  Jules is also studying to become a Doula (a trained support person, who helps to empower women before, during and after their birth experience). Because I’m looking to go back to study myself  I admire her balance of family and study and I honestly look forward to seeing her posts and seeing how she’s going for the day.

http://instagram.com/newmumstheword

https://www.facebook.com/newmumstheword/

Jess Bovey – newmumclub 

Jess is a NZ blogger that I found online after searching for ‘hospital bag essentials’ when I was almost due with Hudson (if you’re about to pop, check it out, it’s a really good list) she has a great online following but she also runs an online support group to about 12,000 mums which in itself is amazing. Jess is engaged to Reuben and together they have a son Baxter and new baby Lily… seriously, she’s one busy lady. Jess is also hilarious (I know I’m like a broken record but hey, they’re all funny). Jess’ decision to return to work when Baxter was a bit younger and her truthful telling of the struggles she had while giving up being a stay at home mum and returning to work made her easy to relate to and an inspiration for working mums everywhere.

http://instagram.com/jessbovey

https://www.facebook.com/newmumclub/

Rebecca Keil – rockyandruby 

Rebecca is a NZ blogger and is someone I randomly stumbled upon when I was scrolling mindlessly through Instagram. But I honestly love her, she’s the best. Rebecca is wife to husband Jared and together they have a son Rocky and a daughter Ruby. Rebecca is definitely the mum I want to go around and have yarns with. Seriously. I want to be her best friend. My only issue is that I’m defs not cool enough to be her friend and my yarns are shit haha. Her hilarious tales about motherhood and life in general has me in fits on the daily but at the same time she uses her platform to speak about important topics such as rape culture within the NZ community, she’s got the best of both worlds (bet you’ve got the Hannah Montana theme song in your head now, right?)… anyway… she’s one of my absolute favs. Like for real, I ain’t ever skipping her Instagram stories. Check her out.

http://instagram.com/rocky_and_ruby

https://www.facebook.com/rockyandrubyblog/

These women are honestly all amazing and they inspire me to be a better person, mum and writer. Go check them out for yourselves and if you have any suggestions for mum blogs for me to check out, let me know.

Thanks for reading ✌️ xx

Choosing the perfect childcare for your little one 

So my stay at home mum life is coming to an end *cue crying*… It has almost been a year and it’s time to go back to work, I honestly can’t believe how fast this first year has gone. I’ve had the best time off getting used to mummy life and now, truth be told, I am looking forward to some daily adult interaction and getting into some good routines. What is making things easier for us is that Hudson loves his childcare centre and his teachers are brilliant.

Many parents, like myself, returning to work feel anxiety about choosing the right childcare for their babies. You’re basically trusting someone with the most important person in your life and you want it to feel perfect. I felt like I had a small advantage when looking around for a centre for Hudson because I had studied and worked in Early Childhood Education myself so I knew the right questions to ask and certain things to look for. Here are a few tips so you can choose the right childcare too…

  1. Does the centre give you good vibes? I know this might sound silly but honestly, take note of the vibes you feel when you walk in there. Call it mothers instinct if you wish but if you get a bad vibe, or feel uncomfortable in any way, I’d personally give it a no straight away. 
  2. Do all of  the teachers smile and say hello? You want to feel comfortable with all of the teachers, because you and your child will end up interacting with most of them. Do  they make you feel welcome? Are they approachable?
  3. Is the centre clean? And I don’t mean toys strewn across the floor clean, I mean is the grass so long there’s probably snakes in there (OK, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration) or is there play equipment that looks like it’s never been cleaned? 
  4. Ask if the teachers get non- contact time? (time off the floor to do their learning stories, daily diaries etc). A teacher with regular non-contact time will be less stressed in their job and will be generally happier within their role which in turn will make them a better teacher.
  5. Do the children seem happy and busy or is there a lot (over half) of the children disengaged in play and activities? Are there children crying unattended? These things can often mean the teachers are understaffed or under resourced.
  6. Ask if the centre does water play in the summer and messy play AKA the play you’re not that keen to do at home. I for one, don’t want paint and glitter all over my lounge room floor so I think it’s important for children to have those experiences at childcare.
  7. Once you’ve narrowed it down to a couple or a few centres I would recommend spending a couple of hours at each centre to watch how the teachers interact with the children. Do they get down to their level when talking to them? Do they speak to the children with respect? Observing, will teach you a lot about the centre and the teachers.
  8. If you’re looking for a childcare centre for your baby it is important to ask routine related questions. Ask whether they will stick to your at home routine or do they go by a centre routine? Will they work with you when/how you are introducing solids? E.g. Baby led weaning or purees? Will they stick to your at home sleep routines? E.g. Cry it out? Rocking or patting to sleep if they’re unsettled? Putting your baby to bed at certain times?
  9. Ask each centre for a copy of their centre philosophy and you’ll get a fair idea of what their beliefs are and what’s important to them as a centre and as teachers.
  10. Ask about price and what’s included in that price. Obviously price will come into it but if there’s two centres you’re choosing between that have a $10 per day difference ask both centres whether they provide food, wipes, nappies etc because if the slightly more expensive centre offers all of those things then they could actually end up cheaper. On that note though, If they’re providing food, ask if they have a nutrition and allergy policy. You want your child to be offered healthy, wholesome food with fruit and veggies offered at each meal and if your child has allergies you want to make sure that, that will 100% not be an issue.

Hope this helped a few people make a hard decision a bit easier.

Thanks for reading ✌️ xx